Changing Again

 

During the first several months of this year, I was fairly certain the jig was up. The degeneration of my nerves was proceeding apace, especially in my hands and arms. I had difficulty walking, and foresaw a wheelchair in my immediate future. I was having increasing difficulty in thinking things through, and my memory was failing. So, my primary goal became preparing for my death.

For reasons that are not exactly clear to me, I became very alarmed about my increasing weight and inability to walk. No matter what I did, my weight went up and up, and rather fast at that. Several months ago, I guessed that insulin caused the problem. That idea was reinforced when my present doctor asked why my previous MD had prescribed insulin. I wasn't really sure, but I do remember enough about the circumstances of that prescription in late 2003. Since (being a computer guru) I keep extensive records of my medical history,  I was able to determine that my galloping  weight gain and "peripheral neuropathy" problems began after I started taking insulin. Since those are common problems among diabetics, I had understood them as a consequence of the disease, not of the treatment.

Earlier in the year, I had tried to reduce my insulin use. Of course, my blood sugar promptly increased. That would have been expected according to the standard theory of diabetes. Over the years, my doctors had decided I was a Type II diabetic, suffering from insulin resistance. So, if I did not inject insulin, my body would be unable to process blood sugar correctly. I had been told hundreds of times that keeping my blood sugar within normal levels was the goal, because that would reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke and kidney failure (the leading causes of diabetics' death). So, when my  blood sugar went up, I took more insulin. In my early experiments with reducing insulin, I heeded medical advice, and desisted from the experiment after a week or so when there was no other immediate benefit. I lived in fear of and subservience to medical dicta.

I don't know exactly what changed last May or June, but I decided something had to be done. I wasn't ready to give up the ghost. I wasn't ready (or financially able) to hire a housekeeper or attendant, even though I was becoming increasingly unable to use my hands in cooking, typing or anything else, even getting dressed. I had trouble holding onto things. I was barely able to walk. Most of the time it was too dangerous to drive which, around here, is required to shop, go to the doctor, etc. (We do have an incredibly slow and sparse public transit system.) Most importantly, I felt most of my acquaintances couldn't stand to hear my complaints, so they shunned me. I was pretty sure the MDs wouldn't help me, because they didn't understand what was wrong and they didn't have the time for a research project.

In desperation, about two months ago, I decided to reduce my insulin uptake. Since insulin promotes hunger, I thought taking less would at least stop the weight gain. The sacrifice would be increased blood sugar and all the other horrible risks, but I thought it was worth it. I might have given up the experiment and gone back to the MDs' regimen, but for an article in the New York Times suggesting that insulin can cause brain inflammation. Since my short term memory and my ability to write were also going down the drain rapidly, that recent research rang a bell. Thus I continued decreasing insulin. My weight gain stopped.

I stopped using insulin altogether about a month ago. It wasn't planned. I just did not want to take it. Anyway, I thought, I would know soon enough if I needed it. I have not thrown out my insulin supply, the needles and all the other paraphernalia. Contrary to the opinion of many relatives, acquaintances, readers and doctors, I am not a total fool and/or blathering idiot. I have the advantage of a scientific background. I have done medical research, and, especially, I have continued my education in medicine, biology and other subjects. I have great respect for Western medicine. I also realize its limitations, especially when my doctor is overloaded with more than 2000 cases to attend. (That is what medical care in the United States has come to.)

I got lucky. My short-term memory is coming back. The weight gain stopped. Now I am concentrating on diet to prevent it from happening any more. Most significantly, my walking has improved greatly. I can actually walk, not shuffle. Even better, my hands are beginning to work again: the peripheral neuropathy is reversing to some degree. While the two small fingers on both hands seem permanently damaged by the treatment, I am able to type again, even if with more mistakes. That's why I can write this article. On the other hand, my blood sugar has indeed gone up quite a bit and I sleep more.

For those confused by the mumbo jumbo, let me explain my thinking by example. According to the standard theory, diabetic peripheral neuropathy (diagnosis) is caused by excessive blood sugar which, in turn, is due to a lack of regulation by insulin (for one of several reasons). ("Peripheral neuropathy" is the degeneration or malfunction [-pathy] of the nerves [neuro-] at the periphery - typically the feet and hands.) Diabetic peripheral neuorpathy is irreversible. Therefore (prognosis), reduction of blood sugar should prevent or stop peripheral neuropathy, but not repair any damage. In order to reduce blood sugar (prescription), one takes insulin or other drugs.

In my case, it now appears peripheral neuropathy is caused by insulin. Moreover, some of the effects are in reversal, although there appears to be some permanent damage. This is opposite to the analysis and predictions of the standard theory. Science proceeds by theory and experiment. In this case, I am the experiment. I hope my analysis is correct.

Note: I do not recommend the foregoing procedure to anyone. This is not medical advice.

I think what has happened to me falls under "misdiagnosis." I believe I have different problems than what the doctors guessed at. I don't blame them, as enough of my condition comes close to what's described in the books. In my case, what I need is assignment to a research MD, not a front line MD. After all, front line MDs are like engineers, not research scientists. Their duty is to treat the patient according to existing best available science. I belong to a Medicare HMO, Kaiser, which has a book detailing diagnoses and treatments. That book is the MD's marching orders.

You should follow your doctor's advice, unless you have strong reasons and credentials to do otherwise.

The upshot of this radical and unexpected change is I am suddenly able to write again. So sorry, conservatives and all those who hate loud mouth Walter: I'm back. I don't know for how long. I don't know whether my experiment will work. I am giving it my best shot.

Consequently, I am reconsidering several matters. For one, although I am not entirely happy with this website's layout and appearance, I really don't have the time to get into another reworking (which usually eats up about 3 months). I'm a busy fellow. So, my current website design policy is procrastinate! I might fix up a few things here and there, if it doesn't take too long. The highest on my list, as usual, is the ease of editing and posting articles and comments. Next is a more efficient e-mail Notice system, as the current one is sometimes creaking and overloaded. But, these days I have to be in the mood to do programming. I am not as dutiful as I used to be.

I am trying to deal with the GSQ book and its sequel. I am tired of wasting time with publishers who cannot get it right, which seems to be all of them. Maybe they do a better job when the supposed author supplies words, sentences and paragraphs to a publisher's crew which rewrites them into a facsimile of a book. It is patently clear that those facsimiles are guided by sales data; i.e., books are tailored to sell based on current trends and fads. No major publisher actually risks printing a book that hasn't got market research, focus groups, etc. behind it. In that, publishing has departed from the Fourth Estate and joined pop music and soda sellers. (Note: this is another example of the corporate economy described in GSQ.)

I'm pretty disgusted by all that, but won't continue my diatribe. Why bother? I wrote GSQ. I took the criticisms of the manuscript readers seriously, and tried to accommodate them when I thought they were right. I answered them when I thought they were wrong. I revised the text about 10 times. I have a directory called "Cutting Floor" where 90% of my original meanderings now reside. The other 10% are in GSQ, which is not an "as told to" book, nor will be any other book I write.

In my newly re-energized state, I am pretty sure I will write a sequel. I am, however, confused about what to do first and what next. There's some stuff I am writing to post on this website, but I might not post it. I am thinking about holding back a lot of stuff and ideas for the next book. Of course, that creates a conflict, because I also want to hold your interest. (And, there seem to be more of you lately.) Timing is everything.

I was sufficiently put out by my dealings with publishers to re-open the old business. I am, once again, officially Walter L Battaglia dba California Expert Software. I even pulled out the old business cards from garage storage the other day. They'll need reprinting with a few new words, such as "author," the book title and the website address. I'll get that done this week. I have also decided to revive and combine some antique CES logos, the diamond and dragon. I envision a three toed, mist breathing Chinese dragon wrapped around a diamond. (Three toed dragons are what ordinary people - the proletariat - get, as opposed to 4 toed Mandarin dragons and the 5 toed Imperial sort.) I need to check with the graphics artist about it. (I mistakenly told him it was a back burner project.)

I signed up for the Sonoma County Book Festival - just about the only one in Northern California this year. I hope to catch a few rays and a few people in pleasant Santa Rosa. (I just love it over there, 90 crow miles from here. Please buy my book so I can afford it.) I think I will try to bull my way into the LA Festival next spring. There may be a few other bopok festivals during the winter that are accessible to me.

What does all this come to? I'll be pushing GSQ for the foreseeable future. I will try to keep things moving along with the website. I feel sufficiently energized to start doing something about the next book, which I think CES will publish. (I have already listed CES as a publisher. I have the ISBNs. And I have a likely printer.)

My apologies to those affected by these dire announcements. I don't plan on dropping dead any time soon.