Change of Life

I think, but I am not sure, I lost interest in politics when it became clear "positive" change is either not possible or will not happen any time soon. I arrived at that conclusion in writing The Graduate Student's Question (GSQ), which was not the result I originally intended. I thought I was writing a book which would engender change, not predict the collapse of Empire (Pax Americana).

For me, writing turned into an unanticipated process of self-definition and self-discovery. It rekindled my interest in philosophy, particularly Ethics and certain aspects of Epistemology (Theory of Knowledge). It reaffirmed certain lifelong conclusions and attitudes. Now it is redirecting how I spend my time, and what I hope to accomplish.

Largely freed of the political demons which possessed me, I have again found time for the arts. I have been somewhat relieved of the effects of the poverty which accompanies old age by the invention of DVDs. DVDs are one of the fallouts of the Information Revolution in which I was an active promoter and participant, so I am very grateful for them. DVDs are an inexpensive ticket to movies and theater which I could not otherwise afford. Now I can see Broadway musicals, operas, ballets and theatrical productions at home on my TV or computer. It's a shame that more of the classical repertoire is not on DVD. For example, Bertold Brecht's Three Penny Opera doesn't seem to exist in digital form, even though everyone knows the song "Mac The Knife." For whatever reason, many, many wonderful performances were never recorded or only recorded on fragile audio tape. Thus, despite the existence of appropriate technology since the post-war period, much of the work of the performing arts is lost to us.

Fortunately, that situation is rapidly changing as exemplified by the decision of the NY Metropolitan Opera to release its archives on DVD. I hope the Hungarian government will make accessible its vast archives of the work done by Bartok and Kodaly under the Communist regime, including unique recordings of folk music in Eastern Music. Some of this was once available on LPs in the 1960s, but has since disappeared. I especially hope DVDs will allow inexpensive publication of the world's huge inventory of music and theater written during the last 500 years. There are Japanese Kabuki, Chinese Peking Opera, puppet shows (Punch and Judy), the Grand Guignol, and on and on. Somehow I believe making more of an effort to record and distribute all of our classical arts would have a tremendous inspiring and pacific effect.

I have been torn by questions of how much, how deep? Most of my life, I aspired to be a Renaissance Man, but now I realize this is impossible. I think being a Renaissance Man became impossible sometime in the Nineteenth Century, certainly not later than the early Twentieth Century. During the last two centuries, there has been an exponential knowledge explosion which makes it very difficult, probably impossible, for one person to encompass all that is known. Still, I think it is possible for an individual to have a sufficient grasp of the major fields to be more than a dilettante. I think cultured people should have basic knowledge of physics, chemistry and biology, a good understanding of mathematics and logic, and an appreciation of the arts as represented in great books, works and performances. I do not think it is that hard to know something of Renoir and Picasso, as well as Mozart and Einstein, and Confucius and Buddha too. I am quite sure that a literate surgeon is a better doctor than someone who only knows how to cut, chop and pare (however excellently). I certainly would want an excellent surgeon to do any cutting my body requires, but I am not merely polyps, tumors or arteries and veins. I think whatever the surgeon might do is part of treating the whole person. After all, brain tumors can be treated effectively by removing significant portions of the brain, and thereafter putting the husk of a body on life support. Is a permanent vegetative state an acceptable cure for a person, even if it is desirable for an amoeba?

I came to realize just how benighted I am. I do not comprehend many details of the physics, chemistry, biology and mathematics commonly published in journal articles. I almost always understand the abstracts and where this paper fits in. I understand what it implies about our world. I have fewer problems with professional journals of philosophy, either because the articles are more glib (as the detractors of philosophy are quick to say) or because I have a wider and deeper knowledge of this subject than others. Nevertheless, I find myself bewildered by a lot of philosophy which is too often about really obscure stuff. There is a truly vast philosophical literature which I have only lately discovered is beyond my reach in my remaining lifetime: there's just too much of it. So, although I prefer systemic knowledge, I can't have it. I am forced to be a specialist of one sort or another, which I find somewhat unfulfilling and frustrating  Should I just settle down and accept my lot in life, or should I go on to the next book, the next idea - probably endlessly - in order to have a better global understanding?

I waver on my Moral Agents project. Sometimes I feel I should give it up, either because the project is too large or too small, or because it doesn't matter. How dare I contend with the heavy weight thinkers of all ages in this matter? Anyway, isn't John Searle correct when he wrote in his Mind that all the philosophical arguments he knows about are in error? They've all been refuted, so I suppose my theories are flawed as well. Why should anyone pay attention to something that's doomed to failure?

Then I think, wait a minute! I keep reading the same thoughts I put in GSQ in other people's books, books that are contemporaneous or published later. I didn't copy my ideas from another  work: I actually thought out most of them myself. Now, I suppose someone prior to me has had similar ideas, since I doubt that all of my thoughts are new and original. Although I don't know who has priority, I see fragments of my views in traditional works. What I think has happened is an instance of convergent evolution. Many of my contemporaries whose ideas are close to mine have had similar University and life experiences. We are all old enough to know about World War II, and the terrible happenings since then. We share a variety of humanism that did not condone the Cold War or Vietnam, and is not sympathetic to the current U.S. regime. We studied the same classical works, listened to much of the same music and had similar conversations in coffee houses all over the country.

It's worth noting that background, since those who became Conservatives rejected my ideas, philosophy and politics, and everything like it offered by anyone else, at an early age. They have not written books of interest to me during the last several decades. They have succeeded in turning the United States into a kind of living caricature of what people used to imagine it was. Think of Lady Liberty consigned to Hell, replacing the Great Satan of Dante's Ninth Circle, forever chewing on people like me instead of Judas Iscariot.

Why shouldn't I put my thoughts in the public space, whether or not others converge on that place before or after I get there? With that thought, I continue writing the notebooks I posted. I haven't said quite all of it yet. And, somewhere in there, surely there is an original thought or two, or, at least, some thought that might inspire someone to think up something new. So, maybe I'll put together the book after all.

Let's face it, I don't know how it will turn out.

What I do know is I will be making some changes later this year. I don't want to pay a fortune renewing the domain names I own next year. So, given my changed outlook, I will probably discontinue Left and Free, and maybe CES Journal as well. Whatever I do with domain names, I hope to retain writing which is relevant to my current interests, while stuff too tied to current events or old political campaigns will almost certainly get dropped. I think it is time to sift the wheat from the chaff. Despite the harsh fate some of my work must endure, I still think my theoretical work in political and economic philosophy is relevant and worthwhile. I also think the lengthy paper I wrote on WAR is worth preserving, perhaps even worth updating and improving.

I suspect that is some of what I will be doing: sorting out, revising and improving. But, mostly, I think I have acquired a narrower focus, a specialization of sorts, which is the major thrust of my work for the foreseeable future.