Breaking the Logjam

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What direction should I take at this stage of life? What should become of this website? Was it worth writing a book? Where should I go? What should I do?

All those sound like teenage questions, don't they? After our formative period, we are supposed to settle into the adult mode. We are supposed to become "ourselves." A problem arises, at least for me, 'But, what is myself?'

I changed careers many times in my "adult" life, mostly out of necessity. Now that I'm uncomfortably retired, as measured by traditional  standards, I've been confronted with having to change careers again. Thus, the book; me, the Author. I did think I would work until I was dead, but I also thought it would be more of a choice. I'm back to necessity. (Is necessity the mother of invention? What if all my inventions don't work?)

One of the advantages of living on the edge is avoidance of complacency. Resting on laurels doesn't last long, however irritating it is to get up again and do it all over. For example, I realized the other day that I am truly exasperated with being sick. I hate having diabetes and being a slave to pills, shots and the rest of it. It's not that I am going to abandon those things. But, like Dr. Zhivago, "I want to live;" I want to have a personal life. I don't want to be told that the time for the "personal life" is over, for whatever reason (the revolution, illness, etc). So, I get up and do it again.

I had a pleasant experience this week when the glucose test software developed a bug. I tried to report the problem to the software publisher, but the company was on vacation. (Vacation was not something I had regularly, when an independent software developer.) When I finally got hold of technical support, I told them about the problem and that I was a computer expert. Thereupon, the support person admitted he already had reports of the problem, but didn't know what to do about it. The company had outsourced manufacture of the code several years ago, so- like the Wizard of Oz flying away in the hot air balloon - he said, "I don't know how it works!" We did have a long discussion in which I think I pointed him in the right direction. I do know my stuff.

I have to tell about such self-reinforcing experiences, since most of my life has been a repeated tale of people running me down. Now that I am retired, and not officially in business, I can tell you I resent all that denigration. I resent it, not because it is true, but because it is false. I think I have been more than fair in most things. When people have criticized me for things that are wrong, I have confessed error and tried to reform. I hold that attitude as my standard. But, when I have been wrongly accused, I have not kicked back; I just swallowed it.

NEW POLICY: Expect to get a kick in the teeth if you cross me unfairly.

EXAMPLE: I already call the jerk in the Oval Office "the Bandit," because that is exactly what he is. If the rest of America doesn't "get it," tant pis pour toi. (Of course, now that the corruption scandals are sweeping through Washington, and have even reached the Oval Office, perhaps people will think better of my characterizations.)

I've been tossing out my ideas for "Lipstick and Shaving Cream," but Maureen Dowd beat me to the punch. I'll be reviewing her new book, Are Men Necessary?, very soon.

So, where do I go from here? For two things, on to a more glorious website (GSQ) and another book. I hope to start writing for GSQ after next week. I am thinking about my next book. A couple of reviewers thought GSQ was "erudite." That's a synonym for "effete intellectual." I hope not to make that mistake again. I prefer "powerful intellectual," as in enough powerful to depose a sitting idiot-thief.